Wedding Etiquette: Inviting Plus Ones

After you’ve set the date, decided on your budget and chosen your dream wedding venue the next big step is deciding on your wedding guest list. But how do you tackle this topic when each guest costs money, your venue only holds a certain number of people and there is the dilemma of inviting plus ones to the wedding to consider? It’s enough to make your head spin! Follow our tips and you will be able to create a guest list that ensures everyone has a wonderful time at your wedding.

• Decide on your maximum number of guests and stick to it.
• Be firm and set boundaries.
• Be mindful when making seating arrangements.
• Avoid the temptation to match make!
• Arrange shared lifts or lay on a double decker bus for your guests.

Consider the etiquette of inviting plus ones when you set your guest list

Number crunching isn’t the most romantic part of your wedding planning and it can be an area of tension for some families in the run up to your special day, but the figure of your guest list is something you really can’t afford to ignore. When deciding on a maximum number of guests it’s a good idea to think carefully not only about the number that will suit your venue but also your budget. This number will finalise your table arrangements, determine how much cake you’ll need and the number of plates that your caterer needs to prepare. Therefore, it’s good to be realistic when you set your maximum number of guests and consider the wedding etiquette of inviting plus ones, this will help you avoid the stress of last-minute changes and additional costs as you move closer to your wedding.

Make it simpler for yourself and establish an A and B guest list

There are without a doubt going to be people you must have at your wedding, this includes close family and lifelong friends along with their plus ones - they are your ‘A’ guest list. These are the first set of invitations you send out. However of course you will have friends or work colleagues who you would like to invite - they form your B list, those you would enjoy having at your wedding, but budget doesn’t initially allow for them and their plus ones. Why create an A and B guest list? The main reason is that between 10 to 20 percent of people from your main list will decline so you can then prepare the B-list for your new additions.

Be mindful of inviting plus ones wedding etiquette

When you have your maximum guest number set, and you have considered created an ‘A’ and ‘B’ guest list, it’s important to consider the wedding plus one etiquette. It’s considered a courtesy to invite both members of a married couple, those who are engaged or have been dating over a year to your wedding regardless of whether you are close with both individuals. It’s also worth considering inviting plus ones etiquette when extending the offer of plus ones to your wedding party as it's certainly something they will appreciate. You might find it hard to navigate the logistics of those in the early stages of their relationship, family requests to extend invitations to extended family members and even single friends and relatives. To avoid confusion surrounding inviting plus ones, ensure your invitation is clear by stating all invitees up-front by name. You will have to stand your ground in some respect however and keep your B list on stand-by in case you have more space to accommodate extra guests.

Avoid the temptation to match make

When inviting plus ones and planning your seating arrangements, be careful not to create a ‘singles-only’ table even if the temptation to match make is overwhelming as this could make your guests feel uncomfortable. Instead, your table plan should create a more communal and engaging feel, taking into account people's interests and hobbies, grouping old school mates and work colleagues together also ensures that everyone has an enjoyable time. Wedition is a great ice breaker activity for your guests, you could even include a quiz to give everyone something to talk about on your special day. Another way to break the ice on your wedding day early on, is to arrange shared lifts or lay on a double decker bus for your guests.